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SOOOOOOOO Samm tagged me in the hair tag like two months ago and I just saw it /.\ better late then never right? Just agree with me on this……

  1. Why did you start taking better care of your hair?

Because I started dyeing it a lot, and was worried about over-damaging it, I feel like thats a common answer XD

2. What are your two favorite hair products?

I’m not sure I can pickkkkk DX umm hair dye, and deep conditioners, with hairspray in a very, very close third… I need my damn hairspray to keep it floofy peeples

3. Who’s hair did you admire as a child?

Anyone with colorful hair, I always looked up to the punk girls with choppy, colorful hair and big fringes.

4. What is your ultimate goal length?

Umm a bit past my boobies.

5. How are you going to celebrate reaching your ultimate goal length?

Hmmm… Probably buying lots of hair accessories and spamming instagram with cute hair pics

6. Two styles you want to try at your ultimate goal length?

Long pig-tails with my natural hair, and quite possibly a side cut (grow it all out to chop half of it off XD)

7. Which do you prefer: Health or Length?

Well I feel like the right answer is health, but unless it’s completely fried I personally will choose length. I’ve always had short hair so now I’m hell bent on getting long hair no matter what…

8. What do you prefer: hair ties with no metal parts or butterfly clips?

Hair ties, I almost always have my hair in pigtails/ twin buns?? so I like my hair ties.

9. What products do you prefer: salon brands, organic brands, bss brands (Idek what that means), drugstore brands, or other.

I try to use organic brands because I feel like it’s better for my hair (plus they usually smell really good) but if I’m being cheap drugstore.

10. Which product/technique do you think is over-rated?

Curling wands. Their like curling irons, but with no clip so you have to hold the ends there and you always end up burning your damn fingers and the curls look weird because you were too busy dealing with your burnt fingers to focus on what you were fucking doing……. I speak from experience -.-

11. Which product/technique do you think is under-rated.

Not washing it. With the magic of dry shampoo I only wash my hair once a week and it makes it much softer.

12. What is your favorite part of your hair regimen?

Hairspray, it looks perfect, lets glue it in place XD I just love the smell of my hairspray sooooo…. I dunno

13. What is the most annoying part of your hair regimen?

Doing my roots, I always need someone to spot me, it smells bad, takes hours, and is just generally a pain in the ass.

14. Oils or Butters?

Oils, I love a good nice-smelling oil treatment CX although masks and deep conditioners really are more my speed..

15. Buns or ponytails?

Buns, I feel like I can do more with a bun, bandanna ads rockabilly flair, double buns for super cuteness, Roll my fringe back  for pin-up perfection, messy bun when I’m pretending to be normal… So much you can do with a good bun.

16. Wigs or Weaves?

Wigs, I feel like they give you more flexibility and options.

17. What is your opinion on growth aids?

That most of them are bullshit schemes to make money. Unless its plain generic biotin I don’t trust it and even that isn’t a miracle growth thing, it’s just to keep it healthy.

18. At what length do you consider hair long?

When you can braid it without it looking sad and pathetic… About boob length.

19. When was the last time you visited a salon?

This summer. Actually it’s really sad, I finally found a good fucking salon and a hair dresser I love, and I start doing my own hair. I can’t spend #200 dollars every three months though, it’s just obscene.

20. What do you like to surf most often: Youtube channels, personal blogs, or hair forums.

Hmm it depends on if I’m doing it for fun or if I’m about to try something new. I love watching youtube hair videos for fun, but if I’m experimenting I’m more likely to check hair forums and get opinions from actual hair dressers.

21. And finally, what piece of advice would you give to someone just starting out on their hair journey?

A few things 1. take care of it, healthy hair is pretty hair. 2. Don’t listen to what people say, it’s your hair so experiment and try what you like, find what works for you. and 3. What Samm said, it’s just hair. At the end of the day you can chop it all off and it’ll grow back. It might look a little awkward for a few months but it’ll grow back and you can try again.


Included a pic of my personal hair goals CX



Heyyy It’s been almost another week again!!!!

But… In my defense…. Something…

I wasss planning on writing a post on Friday but then I ended up cleaning stuff. Silly me with my life priorities all askew. And then on Saturday a miracle happened:

Josh and I went on a date. o.o Alone. As in, without the Smoodge. Twas beautiful. We wandered around the Old Towny part of Fredericksburg and Josh laughed at me because I wore my spiffy wedding shoes:

img-thing This shoe. But two of them. On uneven pavementy things. I’m quite proud that klutzy me didn’t trip 😀

This is my photographical proof:


Just being our sexy selves. After we walked a bunch and I got a headache from my goddamn dust allergies (it’s evil because I love used books and antiques -.-‘) we went and got chipotle, I highly recommend the sofritas as they be delicious. And then we went to target like all the classy bitches does. And we bought me some makeup and Josh some head poo and a pretty octopus picture thing because we need more cheap prettiness in our apartment. (Josh cleverly mentioned that it looks like we’re building a shrine to Cthulhu. I will neither confirm nor deny this.)

And then yesterday we laid around. It’s the first whole weekend he’s had off in a while so we pretty much just watched youtube, I watched him play video games, and then we made ourselves sick on Domino’s. Twas excellent.

And then yesterday I had my followup anti-depressant visit (thank you for asking, it went very well my meds seem to be helping a lot and I just go back when I need more refills or if something changes.) I then proceeded to buy groceries and tooth un-uglifier (bleach) and pick up the money order for rent, paid rent, and came home.

Meh moother in law stopped by while I was folding laundry, wouldn’t have been a big deal except her (evil weasely satanic, not the idiot, or the one that I fuck.) son decided to tag along and got to see me folding my cute thongs (because tiny triangles are fucking adorable) and my boob holders -.- *sighs* But she did get me a mothers day present which was really thoughtful and she has the discs with my wedding photos so she got a couple of the ones with me and my mum and grandparents printed, which I thought was really thoughtful and I actually liked more than the present. (one of the new adult coloring books, It does look cool, and I fucking love coloring, but I’m pretty fifty-fifty on the actual designs)

So that’s a pretty detailed re-cap on my fantabulously glamoristical life. I’ve been in a pretty awesome mood since I disappeared actually, I’ve just been mostly happy and trying to do shit and play with my kid a lot. So I’ll come back and update this once I upload mah Tuesday video so you people can stare at my lovely face being adorable some more and I shall commence with more babbling and talking later. (Piss I did that already.)

Pissess, I’ve still been reading all the shits, just not writing so I know what you all are doing and I’m spying on you o___O


Life and Cats and Happiness

So I drank too much last night and ended up puking several times. Josh is amazing because he cleaned up everything I missed after he got home at like midnight. I should stay away from alcohol when I’m depressed, it’s no fun then anyway.

But this morning I’ve been thinking, contemplating the mysteries of the universe and all that.

And I’ve decided to officially redefine what I consider to be successful. I mean, I already have sort of done this, but now it’s official. I don’t care if we never become millionaires, I don’t care if I buy my clothes from target (and hot topic) for the rest of my life I don’t care if we never get an artsy loft style penthouse in some trendsy artsy city, and I don’t care if I never get my adorable grey or green fiat or mini cooper to be all cool and artsy in.

I am officially defining my success in life by how happy I am through out it. Because when you’re 80 you’ll be in a nursing home anyway, I’d rather take amazing memories than jewelry that I’ll be too crotchety to wear. Because really life isn’t about how awesome you do at it, you can’t “win” you can just be happy and satisfied and content.

It’s something I’ve been working on for a while. I don’t want any more memories of me standing in the mirror body shaming myself, than I already have. I want memories of Smidge smiling at me, Josh playing with my hair, and me paying money to have holes stabbed into my skin. *shrugs* I’m a tad obsessed with the body mods okay?!

I can’t remember if Josh showed me or if I just found it on the internet (mostly sure it was the Josh, he always finds the cool stuff) but it was this list of old peoples biggest regrets in life. And most of them revolved around wishing they had worked less, followed their dreams more, and been more spontaneous.

So from now on I’m going to make it a point to remember to take breaks from school and laundry to eat Smidges tummy, I’m not going to give up on my baby youtube channel (I have a whole 13 subscribers now!), and I’m going to try harder not to let my anxiety stop me from doing the things I want, and the things that make me happy.

I know I said in a post a while back that choosing to be happy doesn’t really work. But now that I’m on antidepressants and actually feel mostly stable, it is a lot easier to try. It still doesn’t always work, but now when I try to focus on the little things and breathe and do things to cheer myself up, they usually work.

So I’m promising myself that I’ll focus on the little things, I’ll create beautiful moments, and happy memories, because really that’s the only thing we can take with us, so damn it I’m taking a ton of the bestest memories I can. *insert naive optimism face here*



I still can not believe I uploaded that *slams head into wall repeatedly*

Today…. I’m tired.

My brains not working.

I had to go grocery shopping.

I felt bad for spending so much monies but we needed food.

But my brain is too melty to actually think of something to write so I’m stealing an oldish tag from Galit because I feel like it dammit.

I erased all the tag-y info so none of you know which one it is!!!! >:D I’m so villainous!

1. Current favorite lip stick? Hmm probably the ridiculously red one from FLOWER…. Perfectly Poinsetta? that or Wet N Wild’s breeze. Although usually I’m just a chapstick sort of girl.

2. One food you cannot live without? Hmmm… This used to be bacon. Now I’m going to say sushi or basically anything Indian.

3. Favorite blusher? Easy because I only own one! Wet n Wilds Pearlescent Pink which I hardly ever use 😀

4. Have you found any down side to blogging? I feel like an asshole because I never post regularly…. aside from that, it’s a great way to organize my brain, talk about things that interest me, and connect with some really awesome bloggery peoples I never would’ve met otherwise!

5. If you could travel anywhere in the world (given money, time, etc are not a problem) where would you go?  Everywhere. I love traveling. Stateside I wanna hit NYC, San Fran, LA, and Seattle, Worldwide the list is pretty insane, I wanna hit London, Paris, TOKYO, I wanna visit Ireland, somewhere cold enough to see the Northern Lights, and about a million more awesome spots.

6. Favorite TV Show? o.o I can do this i can do this i can do this….. *brain explodes* at the moment I’m still in love with Attack on Titan. but I could never pick one definitive television love…

7. Favorite cartoon as a child (or still 😉 ) ? The last Airbender, Hey I agree with Galit!!!! I loved a lot of cartoons as a kid but I’ve always been and will always be an Avatard ❤ Although I’m still undecided on whether or not I should watch the legend of korra. Opinions?

8. If you were $100 to buy makeup. What products would you buy? Eyeshadows buy Urban Decay! and honestly mostly just drugstore stuff…. Maybe experiment with higher quality eyeliners???

9. A quote that changed your life: There are too many, but for the moment one that I’ve been trying to live by is Oscar Wilde’s (shocking I know, I’m not a fangirl at alllllllll…) “Life is too important to be taken seriously.”

10. Did you have a childhood hobby (Eg: collecting stamps or anything of that sorts that people did before the internet took over)? I ran around in the woods and alternated between pretending that I was Aragorn’s voluptuous and deadly half sister, Dracula’s daughter and evil queen of the undead, and the bad-ass warrior princess of an army of Fae. Needless to say I was an odd child.

If you feel like doing this go ahead, but I’m not telling you which tag/award you may have won ^.^


The Night Before Last (oh look, another real title!)

So this isn’t some big life-changing event or anything. But you know those moments? Where when they happen you know you’ll always remember them, and even though they’re small they’re what makes life worth living?

I had one of those ^.^ not last night, but the night before. Josh and I had spent the evening cuddling and watching our show. And then when we went to bed, he held me and sang to me like he used to when we were just stupid kids on the phone.

It sounds really silly typing it out, but it was special because I love it when he sings. He hasn’t much since his voice cracked a year or two ago and he just didn’t want to go through all the work of figuring out his range and stuff again I guess.

I don’t know anything about singing, nobody in my family is musically inclined. I only ever had one lullaby when I was little, and even then it was only sung on very rare occasions. I guess that’s why it always made me feel so special when Josh sang to me. Because singing is only for special occasions and rare moments, I guess.

He also has an amazing voice. He’s pretty good at mimicking other singers, but his own voice is just *gaspy squeals* it’s good okay? It’s warm and rich and soft and strong and pretty and it always makes me feel safe and happy. ❤

So he sang to me and we talked about dreams and what we want to be when we grow up, summer projects, and future goals.

It was awesome.

I think one of the hardest parts of being a teen mom/young couple is that even though we’re not even 20 we’ve been together so long the honeymoon phase is over. I mean, we’re still in love and all over each other, but we don’t do the gushy, overly romantic gestures or stay up till 4 am talking or write cheesy love letters and stuff much.

I had just accepted that him singing me to sleep was another happy memory, but not something to expect. So when he held me close and whispered pretty lyrics into my hair I just sort of died and went to another level of happiness.

I really really love him. It’s just weird to see how much our love has changed, because it started out with two very different kids, we’ve grown and changed alot, but we’ve grown together, and grown up together. I just think it’s weird comparing the boy I used to love with the man I’m in love with now. It makes me really happy and nostalgic. *sighs* I can’t decide if I’m too old or too young to be eighteen.


These little weirdos grew up into these


Still weird, but much cooler and actually skinnier weirdos

(no couple pics with the new hair, I will have to hunt him down and harass him the next time he shaves and puts clothes on. ^.^)

This is weird and personal, but I figure that since I always go on about how miserable and angsty I am, I should share how happy I am sometimes too.


Another Liebster????

I FEEL SO SPECIAL!!!! Was tagged by Samm

So you probably know how this goes by now:

11 Random Facts:

Trying not to do repeats but probably will anywayssss:

1. When I was really little I thought there were only four types of music: Country, Christian, Classic Rock, and Pop because that’s all my parents ever played so I didn’t start liking music until I was about 14 and realized that good music existed (I do like classic rock still though…)

2. I’m allergic to Virginia. Mostly pollen and mold, but I swear to God it’s Virginia.

3. I really like septum/cheek piercings but I don’t think either would be flattering on me.

4. I get really nauseous and feel sick when I see other peoples blood/injuries but am completely unphased by my own

5. My cat is turning me into a cat person, despite the fact that when I was younger (until about last year) I absolutely hated them (except mine…)

6. I am utterly incapable of rolling my r’s, which is why I will never learn spanish.

7. I’ve always loved owls, even back when I was little and people thought it was a creepy, weird, old lady obsession.

8. I don’t have an instagram and find the concept of it thoroughly confusing… Old and irrelevant at 18…..

9. I still don’t have my Highschool Diploma, despite the fact that I graduated, because my parents never bothered to buy/make one.

10. I’ve been weirdly obsessed with the concept of death my entire life; when I was in kindergarten my parents got several notes about me drawing the angel of death and blood everywhere.

11. In the same sort of genre I’ve been obsessed with vampires since I was about six or seven and desperately wished that I had been born as dracula’s daughter/super rich vampire princess…. I was am a weird-ass little kid XD

Samm’s questions:

1. What movie would you want to watch over and over, forever? What movie would you want to live in?

I could probably watch Sweeny Todd over and over again, that or Lord of the Rings. To live innnn OH Coraline Definitely  Cx I liked that one a lot and it would be fun to live in a world where everything looked cool like that.

2. Who (dead or alive, famous or not, fictional, whatever) would you want to be your best friend and why?

Oh this is gunna sound soooo cheesy but Rosemarie Hathaway from Vampire Academy (the books not the awesomely horrible movie.) She was funny, sarcastic, impulsive, super loyal, and she just seemed like someone easy to be friends with.

3. If you could only wear one color for the rest of your life, and your favorite color not being an option, what would it be?

My favorite color being black I’m totally cheating and taking the next best option which is Gray. or Grey. Whatever. Because there are so many different shades (some of which look black) and I feel like it’d be easy to co-ordinate and match with it, plus it’s a bangin’ color.

4. Favorite type of weather?

In the late summer/early fall when it’s a light cool rain that just feels nice and makes everything look brighter and more alive.

5.  What are some of your aspirations in life?

Being a world famous youtuber XD (not cereal!) but cereal: I do hope one day my youtube turns into a small something, that and being a skinny, boobalicious mother of two/ alternative-gothy model for obscure clothing lines ^.^ oh and a vampire! XD

6. What gives you the most confidence?

Hmm right now, it’s seeing how far I’ve come and how far I have to go in life, how happy I already am, and physically? a good push-up bra and my bootiful hairs ^.^

7. Favorite way to spend the day?

binge-watching an exciting anime with Josh and a mountain of junkfood 😀 (maybe if we find another video game I don’t suck at it’d be playing that)

8. Favorite song? Most recent addition to your music (newest artist/band you’ve found)? This is evil -.- you should know better Samm! there is no one favorite song!!!! But right now I’ve been loving All Signs Point To Lauderdale and Castle Down (ADTR & Emilie Autumn) Newest is alot easier it’s Matt and Kim, (I like Hoodie On ^.^) I’m not obsessed with them, but for being a really pop-y band I like them a lot Cx

9. Post a picture that you feel pretty in. :3


being lazy and doing one I already shared, but I really like the way my skin, and okay this is super weird, my neck looks in it o.o

10. Given the chance (and permission from creature!), would you explore the home of some supernatural creature? Interview him/her?

Um duh!, I’d totally be down to do an interview with a vampire ;D (anybody see what I did there????, I’m so hilarious XD )

11. Haaiiiiii! 😀 

最近どう (saikin dō, what’s up?) Because I have to be a smart-ass XD



I ALSO LIKE CAPS LOCK BECAUSE IT’S INTERNET YELLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


PS Smidge is being cuter today!

You Know What Fuck IT I LIED!!!!!

I’ll keep linking thursday video’s as long as I goddamn want to! Hopefully that link will work, It’s not done uploading yet. But really it’s just the easiest way to sum up the day I’ve had. Plus a bunch of people told me they like my videos so if you don’t then NYAHHH you can just go suck a rattlesnake penis. *shrugs* maybe a cobra if that’s what you’re more into.

I will say one thing.

I’ve purchased a red lipstick. Well to be technically accurate Josh said he wanted me to buy some makeupies for myself while we were grocery shopping so I threw it in the cart and he payed for it….

And I LOVE IT! Words can not describe the adoration I feel for this color! I like it enough to bother re-applying it after I’m done kissing the smidglet! (Bonus: She gets bright red kissy lips all over her tiny baby face!)

It brings out my inner badass XD

But seriously, I had no idea a color could be such a confidence boost!


With red lips,

I could actually go outside.

I can talk to people on the phone.


I’m Invincible ^.^

*Strikes wonder woman pose complete with blanket cape, wait did she have a cape? I honestly never liked her so I can’t remember* Oh god….

But Yes. I feel quite sassehhh

20150409_134347 (1)

Look, I even selfied! That’s how wretchedly confident I feel right now!

Ah well I’m done for now, I shall speak at ye later. Bai


Ps. Sam I sawed that nomnomination and shall get around to it post-soonish!

I Did Things This Weekend? (I actually wrote out a title?)

So today. *shrugs* It could be better, it could be worse. It’s a typical monday really. I got my homework submitted in time with a couple hours to spare. (despite the fact that I had to redo half of it because I accidentally closed the wrong tab -.-) And the smidge is napping.

She’s been a little shit. Which I understand because she got her next round of shots, which turn small angels into huge demonic assholes. She doesn’t want to eat anything I give her unless it’s soaked in sugar, and the child who never wants to cuddle will scream bloody murder if I put her on the floor for ten seconds.

We finally put up some artwork and things we’ve been meaning to hang foreverrrr. Which means that I can actually start using my vanity again soon instead of being in the bathroom! (I don’t mind using the bathroom, but I feel bad for Josh because my makeup is always spread out all over the place and he gets no counterspace.)

We got a hamster. We’re still discussing it’s name but I’m pretty sure Petunia will be the one to stick. (I am the queen of impulse pet purchases…..) Although she’s kindof a little asshole. She figured out how to open her ball and keeps getting lose. It took an hour to get her out from behind the fridge earlier. -.- But that’s okay because at the time I was still looking for excuses to avoid homework. ^.^

I’m going to try to record her being cute later but I want to give her a while first because she was acting pretty traumatized after the fridge incident. I will say: she is much less asshole-ish than Noodle. She doesn’t scream, and she runs away instead of trying to bite people. *sighs* I miss Noodle. there was a winter white at the store when we picked her up (she’s a robo dwarf) and I almost cried I miss the little asshole so much.

I feel bad for Josh because he had a migrane over the weekend. So last week he didn’t get a single day off and this weekend he get’s a puking-can’t-do-anything-but-sit-in-the-dark migrane imediately after we left his parents passover dinner (seder? I have no idea on the spelling of anything, let alone Jewishy-hebrewy whatevers) Which I also felt bad about because my soon to be sister in law is not only completely unJewish, but she’s also completely closed-minded and not particularly respectful about it. I mean, I’m not really Jewish either (except for marrying Josh and having an un-practicing great-grandfather) but I think the traditions are interesting, and I know it’s important to Josh. But if you can’t be respectful and considerate of your families beliefs than you really should’ve stayed home. Especially when she was laughing at how obnoxious her kid was being, and making faces about the food.

Although I do think Josh and I are probably weird because afterwords we continued nibbling on the parsley and horseradish pretty much all through dinner…. I love horseradish ^.^

Well I’m going to stop babbling now because I have to go pay the rent that we were going to drop off saturday and couldn’t, so now it’s late….. oops.



Cool picture I added into my homework, because cool.


Because everyone needs traumatized once in a while.