My Chest Hurts

In the super cliche heart-achy way. Except without the romantic part, I’m just really fucking depressed.

I’ve been running in auto-pilot mode all day. I’m trying really hard to do shit that makes me feel better but mostly right now I’m running damage control and trying not to do the stabby things >.<

Goddamnit! I’ve been doing better recently too, I was going to finally post to day and be all happy and bubbly because I’ve been out doing normal people things.

I got my roots redone so my hair looks super-awesome again instead of pretty awesome. I went to the mall with my friend and bought a book and a tokidoki blindbox that had my new favorite figure


On the back he has a have you seen me poster with I think her name is Mozzarella? The cow girl without her machine gun, Which makes it cooler because I have her too.

I know they’re a gigantic waste of money but they’re so cute and make me happy opening them. I have donatella and the peach and the rainbow and mozzarella and choco and a hello kitty mozarella and I love opening the boxes! Cx

I already finished my book too, (I may or may not have immediately bought the sequel from amazon…..) so I can’t wait to read the next one.

I’m starting to feel better…. Talking about things that make me happy.

I’m pissed because I somehow deleted my youtube ideas list, right after I added like six awesome ideas that I can’t remember >.< But I think later today I’m going to record this really fun challenge that Zmashd did that I haven’t seen 80billion people do. I don’t like doing a bunch of challenges in a row but I’ve just been really out of it and busy and not even wanting to sit down and do shit, and it’s easier to record something fun and simple like tags and shit. I’m mad because yesterday I tried to do that outfit of the day, and because I don’t have a viewfinder I didn’t realize that you totally couldn’t see any of it >.< if I ever actually make money from youtube the first thing I’m going to do is save up for a camera with a view finder.

Speaking of, I think I am going to monetize my videos soon (adding the ad’s at the beginning) because I would have made an entire dollar so far. It’s funny how people assume that anyone who does youtube makes a shitload off of it, until you get really popular and partner with a company you get a grand total of a dollar per thousand views, I thought everybody knew that but I’ve seen a lot of bitchy comments about lack of content and shit. Like one of my favorite youtubers was working four jobs to make rent and everyone was getting rude about her not posting so much and she was like I’m sorry, believe me I’d love to post more, but I’m only sleeping four hours a night and food is a bit higher on my priority list.

Also I’m sorry for not replying to comments sooner, I’m not getting notifications on my phone anymore and I haven’t been on here much because of the business and sadnesses.

Day one of three for the quote challengededed by Zazzle


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