So today, I really should be swiffering the kitchen instead of writing but I’m still trying to zen. Today’s been busyish for me, by my standards at least.
I had to go grocery shopping and buy the foods. Because we ran out of a bunch of essentials, I spent more than I would’ve liked but I got a bunch of stuff we needed so it should last a fair bit of time.
And then once I got home I cycled laundreh and napped the kid, caughted up with my friendy on skypes until I had to do unspeakable things to the toilet (keeping shit classy, literally.) God I have a love hate relationship with puns….. I love making them, I hate hearing them. I’m a terrible person.
ANYWAYS BESIDES MY BOWEL MOVEMENTS
I made myself a sammich ’twas good. I decided to break out of my normal lunchy routines and maded it with cucumbers and peppers and loads of hummus instead of just a normal veggie burger. I really liked it ^.^
I also cycled the dishwasher which reaaaaaally needed done.
This is all boring stuff, what I’m actually thinking about: I’ve gained a pound or two but I think I might actually be happy about it. O.o
Explanations: I’ve been trying to force myself to exercise a bit everyday. I’m not very good at it and forget a bunch but I try to since staying at home with the munchkin doesn’t require much physical effort.
So, since I don’t look any bigger (in my opinion…) and my clothes all still fit exactly the same, I think that means I might have gained a tummy musckle? I don’t think it looks any bigger or smaller but my stomach does seem to be slowly getting a different look to it, maybe one day it’ll actually be toned! I’m excited ^.^
However this could all be denial and wishful thinking…..
I dunno I feel bad. Josh is all happy ’cause he’s losing weight and working really hard but I don’t want to lose weight. I’m really happy for him (even if he did destroy my favorite tummy pillow -.- movie-watching will never be the same) But it’s extremely difficult for me to sit there while he’s counting calories and proteins and whatever, passing on my popsicle addiction because of empty calories, and not get upset.
I try reaaaaally hard not to think about how many calories I’m eating. Because there’s no acceptable amount for me, either I eat whatever I want or I eat absolutely nothing. So hearing him manage things all easy-ish is frustrating. I know I eat a lot of junk and it’s not exactly great to eat half a dozen donuts in 24 hours but it’s better than going back to starving.
I know myself and I know I can’t do that, I can’t count calories because then I eat no calories which is just as bad as too many.
But I know I’m happier this way, I like my boobs and tummy better now than I do when I wasn’t eating. So I don’t need to count. I just need to remember that I’m a super amazing sex-goddess of awesomely supreme hotness and I’ll be all good.
Yes, Sissy the supremely awesome sexgoddess *giggles* see it’s funny because I’m the least sexy/seductive/sexual person I know, ask Josh. I’m terriblee *yawns*
But yup my tummy looks different. I’ll harass Josh about it later but I think it’s a good different. So now to swiff >.< I wanna nap. *yawns again*
Oh internet, Bastardizing my childhood since always.