I was supposed to go to bed early because my in-laws are visiting tomorrow, but it’s too late for that now! *cues up anime marathon* I’m going to have to wake up really early (because 8 is obscenely early when you typically get up at lunchtime…..) But I’m not complaining because my father-in-law has decided to recruit the brother-in-law that I *extremely dislike* and force him to dig out my car (it snowed at least 6 inches today) I don’t really mind doing it myself, but I don’t have a shovel and the only shoes I have that don’t skid on ice are converse which are, shall we say, the exact opposite of waterproof???? So I’m not looking the gift horse in the mouth, despite the fact that I will have to thank the slimy vermin and his father who insists on hugging me. I know they’re just trying to be friendly, but I’m not big on physical contact. *shivers*

Also *crosses fingers* I submitted the second half of my first midterm today. The upshot of online classes is that I’m getting to take them at home, and I have the whole week to turn them in. I’m hoping I did okay, I think this is like the second class where I’ve had essay questions? (oh the joys of being homeschooled, except for the part where you spend 24/7 with someone who doesn’t really like you and doesn’t do a good job of pretending they do.) But I only missed 1 question on the normal problems and I think I’ll get partial credit on that because I gave the right answer just in plural instead of singular (damn you ziggurats!), I am going to email her at the end of the week, but I think I remember her mentioning earlier that she would be going through and checking the answers for spelling problems and such. I mean I even checked to make sure I spelled it right so it would be totally unfair if I didn’t get partial. *yawns* I’m sleepy.

And my head hurts. I feel like shit. I’m exhausted constantly. I know I’m sick I just don’t know what’s wrong. And I don’t have mono but this is like over a month and a half of feeling like I got hit by a bus every single day. I know that official clinical-ly depression can mess with your sleep, but I’ve never been diagnosed and isn’t something that I usually feel. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. *sighs* If I’m not careful I’ll sleep 12 hours a day, and while I don’t really have a problem with that, it’s not good for Smidgey to be in her crib that long, even if she is totally happy just chilling and playing with her toys. It’s better for her if she’s running around taking books off of shelves and trying to finish off murdering my laptop. So I am trying really hard to get up before 1, at least so I can take care of her. I feel like a shitty mom when I don’t spend more time actually playing with her, but it’s so hard to move and do the bare minimum right now, anything more than that seems impossible. I’m trying the best I can, I make sure I get her to laugh every day, and I make sure I actually talk to her so she doesn’t end up one of those kids that doesn’t talk ’till they’re three because they spend all day every day with no interaction besides their mum who doesn’t talk. But it feels like a monumental effort to do the littlest things. I wish it didn’t hurt so much.

Oh and here’s my TMI 50 questions whatever tag: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=im2L5aHVp1Q&list=UUs80yobEPbCd6ZSbispvDTw it is pretty long, but I answered 50 freaking questions, and I tried to actually give real answers for things instead of being all “oh em gees I could never pick just oneeeee favorite color” So it’s there if you’re interested, no big if you’re not. I’m going to lie down now.


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