So yesterday I mentioned that I was in a decent overall mood (minus random bouts of I want to hurt myself)? I think I might have had an actual panic attack. o.o I couldn’t breathe, and then I started hyperventilating and got really light-headed and sortof collapsed(?) on to the floor and couldn’t move or speak or do anything but sob (even though I didn’t want to I just couldn’t stop?) for ten minutes. After that I could move a little if I focused really hard and went slow, but I still spend another ten-fifteen minutes shaking and crying. I didn’t stop shaking until like after Josh finally came home (he had to work a billion hours again 😦 ) and it was almost time for bed. So yea the shaking lasted probably an forty minutes to an hour?
I don’t know, I don’t get panic attacks, that was the first time so I was just really scared and overwhelmed and confused. At the time I wasn’t sad or upset, I wasn’t doing anything stressful, I didn’t want to hurt myself, I just sortof freaked out. So um does anybody know if that was actually a panic attack or if I’m just crazy? Because that scared me and I don’t want it to happen again. Also I am in the process of uploading the second round of humiliations. In which I discuss how I cheered myself up from random super sad bouts,
Aside from that, I can’t really see very because my contacts are bugging me AGAIN >.< I don’t know what I’m gunna do if I don’t can’t get my brand back. Ugh. So yup that’s pretty much all I have goin on.
When the video’s done loading I’ll link it in hereish and aside from that, I’m gunna go lie down because I feel sick.