Yeppp remember how yesterday I said I got my tongue pierced as a last Christmas present on the 27th? It’s still swollen as all shit. So while I’m not dying and it’s not infected or anything, it hurts.
Not like an I’m going to die, this is excruciating pain. But it is reaaally sore and swollen and tender. And when I woke up to say goodbye to Josh this morning there was like congealed blood or some shit around it that I mistook for a bruise. No bruise, and blood is supposed to be normal for another week and half or so. *shrugs*
The shop wasn’t as terrifying as I thought it would be. It was really clean and had a bunch of cool artwork and tattoo designs everywhere. (the scariest person there was the chick wearing the “rebel born, rebel bred, I’ll be rebel till the day I’m dead” shirt *shudders* Oh Virginia…..) So even though I felt totally out of place it wasn’t really intimidating. The guy who did the stabbing must have had either reaaaally bad arthritis or a history of substance abuseses because his hands were shaking a lot. But he got the piercing straight and clean and everything so I don’t really care. And he did the single best job summarizing life with a child that I’ve ever heard. “Oh yea, I’ve got a 5 year old son and I can honestly say: It’s like living with a fucking crazy person.” So, so true.
The piercing itself hurt WAY less than I thought it would. It pretty much just felt like I bit down really hard on my tongue. Probably the same level as my at home cartilage piercing and that was with a shitty gun. I’m just bummed because I didn’t get to see the blood gushing out of my mouth and Josh said it made me look like a vampire. *heaves the dramatic and burdened sigh of perpetual sorrow*
However. The part that’s reaaaaally killing me? My tongue is so swollen right now that it hurts to talk. So I can’t complain nearly as much as I’d like. Josh would argue that I’m complaining more than enough as it it, but I’d beg to differ (If I could say more than three sentences at a time) that there is no such thing as too much complaining. I’d like to clarify really quickly that I *can* speak it’s just uncomfortable and I have a bit of a lisp. Like if you or someone your friends with ever got braces/a retainer and sounded funny for a week or two? I sound like that.
The other big downside is that even though I can, and am supposed to keep eating; it hurts really fucking bad. So while this is great for my waist (I’m down 2.5 lbs!) it’s kindof bad for my “I’m not going to starve myself anymore” resolution. Yesterday the grand total of everything I ate was: A cup of coffee. Water. Ice. A milkshake and two french fries. and a half a cup of chicken noodle soup where I skipped the chicken. I think today’s lunch is going to be solely comprised of ice cream. and for dinner I’ll try to finish my spaghettio’s. None of this is super tragic, but Josh has been thoroughly enjoying eating everything he knows I love, and desperately want to eat right in front of me and laughing his ass off. So Sunday was super spicy curry (anything spicy is off limits for another week or two *dies*) and Yesterday was two Burger King burgers and all of the french fries that I couldn’t eat.
So it’s not infected because I’ve been reallyyyyy careful to follow all of the piercery-persons instructions and don’t have any symptoms of infection but it is rather unpleasant still. I just can’t wait until the swelling goes down so I can talk and babble and tell everyone how excruciating it was to watch Josh eat curry while I was limited to soup. Because that’s probably the most painful part.