I Didn’t’s Forget That You Existed! (Despite the intro this post is sad)

In case anybody(nobody) noticed that I disappeared again, I have a semi-reasonable excuse this time. Josh’s grandpa died and we had to attend his wake and funeral.

It was horribly depressing. Most people would assume that with my disposition I would enjoy funerals, but no. It was fucking sad. And Kindof bad too. Like I didn’t really get to know him, but even I knew that they messed up his face so badly that I refused to go see him, He did NOT do the puffy old man hairstyle.

And then his son, my uncle-in-law? (do distant relatives count as inlaws?) did a really bad job of summarizing, not for lack of planning, he’s just a really bad story teller.

His one granddaughter (cousin-in-law) was sobbing about how she was glad he was dead because now her dad wasn’t alone in heaven. (I understand the sentiment, but the phrasing was about as horrible as something that would come out of my own mouth)

My brother-in-law XP (‘nother grandson) tried to use his time speaking to make himself sound like an amazing person (don’t try to be a fucking glory hound at your papa’s funeral asshole) and

My sortof cousin in law was sobbing because she was a grand-son’s ex-wife and was talking about how even though she wasn’t related and he wasn’t required to, he continued to treat her like part of the family and loved her regardless.

Josh had a really awesome mini-speech that would’ve sounded better at the end as a summary of everyone else’s, but was still really good, It just sucked because he was trying not to cry and that made my insides all squishy. The smidge loudly commentated during the entire thing.

And then I got to attend my firstest ever catholic mass, creepy-ass priest included! (He didn’t know the man at all, didn’t plan his speech out, didn’t give a shit, and was smiling the whole time.)

It was just horrible.

So since I just made myself sound like an unsympathetic judgmental bitch, here was what I actually thought about said passed person:

He was really fuckin cool. Like I never got a chance to really know him, I didn’t go to the magical campground that every single relative goes on and on about. But he was a genuinely kind person. Anyone who’s that nice to their 16 year old grandson’s girlfriend of two months, is just goddamn awesome. He worked really hard to remember people’s names so even though he was really old and sick he always knew who I was. The very first time I went over there Him and his wife (the nana) were telling us all about when they were teenagers and dating. And the cute little song he wrote her that he remembered for like 60-some years.

And holy fuck the books. He probably read like 14-15 a week. Of those fat-ass murder mystery type novels. I aspire to read as much, and own as many books as that man did. (Josh is gunna read this and be like nu-uh don’t you fucking dare do you know how hard it is to move that many fucking books?!?!?!? ) because he filled up their entire garage. wall to wall with books stacked to the ceiling. AFTER people started getting rid of them. We’re talking thousands. It was one of the most impressive collections I’ve ever seen outside of a library.

But I think the best indicator of what a fucking cool person he was, is probably the way every single person’s eyes light up when they talk about him. Everybody smiles. From my ass hat brother in laws, to his kids, to his wife, to his great grand kids, and Josh Everyone adores him. It’s present tense because they still adore him. and I think the saddest thing about all of it was that I didn’t get a chance to know him very well, and I never will.

So that sucked fucking ass. And then Josh and I laid around feeling sad. And then over the weekend we went Christmas shopping. So expect me to spam up your inboxies now that I’m back. I should  only be gone for a day or two around Christmas, but my dads paying for us to go on a cruise with my family in January so I’ll be ditching you then too. (but these absences will be way less depressing and followed by what the fuck I did when I wasn’t here type posts. With hauls.)


2 thoughts on “I Didn’t’s Forget That You Existed! (Despite the intro this post is sad)”

  1. I’m sorry to hear about Josh’s grandfather, may he rest in peace.

    And YOU BACK. Z MISSED YOU! *casual third person there*


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