What’s In That Black-hole/Portal To Narnia That I Call My Bag. *with pictures*

Somebody *coughSammcough* said that I should do one of those what’s in my bagy/pursey things and I figured that since I always like reading them, I’d give it a shot. However since my purse doubles as a diaper bag, it’s actually pretty boring.

First of here is the infamous beast of a backpack that I call my purse.

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Pretty sweet no? Yes. To date this is THE most expensive purse I have ever purchased. It was $25 half off at Zumiez. Josh told me if I didn’t buy it he’d murder me, because this bag is just so totally me.

So for starts I shall detail the amazing outside, because honestly the shit on the outside probably weighs more then the actual contents of my bag.

My buttons:

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I decided to be nice and count them for you. There are 33. And these are just the ones I have on my bag right now. I have a pile of pink floyd and afi ones as well as a hakuna matata just waiting for me to get around to putting them on.

And now my dangles:

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one very grey hello kitty who has seen better days.

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one voodoo cat thing, one robot headphone jack splitter thingy (you plug your earbuds into its eyes and then plug his head into your phone.) one Mr. Hat and one Mr. Slave southpark figurines (they were blind boxes, but I wouldn’t have chosen any other character if I could, all I need now is Mr. Garrison) and one shiny blue thing thats a pretty color. I think it was originally a stylus.

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One less depressing hello kitty voodoo doll.

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This picture came out bad but it’s basically my mini library card, my baby sharpie, and a “mizpah coin” (I don’t know what that is, if you do please please enlighten me.) that has Josh’s name engraved plus our anniversary.

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The saddest teddy bear in existence. Okay so I have this thing with maimed stuffed animals…. They look so sad and heartbreaking that I have to rescue them, and keep them safe, because COME ON they’ve already been chewed on or destroyed and you cruel bastards want to throw them in the trash?!?!? So I rescued this little guy from my mom when I was like 8 and sewed his arm shut and he was just chilling out on a bookshelf when Josh was packing stuff and was like seriously?! this thing is kindof disgusting you should probably toss him out, I mean it’s got crayon on its nose! And I was like NO WAY he’s mine and tied him to my bag so nobody can kill him. Except now it kinda looks like I’ve hung a tortured baby teddy bear from my bag and Josh says people will think I’m a creepy sadist because I dress in black and have a sad teddy bear hanging from my purse…… *sighs* This is what I get for trying to look out for wounded toys.

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Tiny L, or Ryuuzaki, if you prefer. And if you don’t know him by either name then you obviously have no idea who he is and I kindof hate you a little tiny bit now….not really, though. I just think you’re lame. He was a Chrissymas(or was it birthday??) present from Josh. I found it especially touching, because he quit reading Deathnote and said it sucked after what happened with L *stopped myself from spoilers*

So now let’s progress to the actual contents!!!!

There are two outside pockets and in the left:

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Grainy picture but it’s got a thing of hand sanitizer, a purpley lipgloss, and four gum wrappers. Because this is also where I usually store my gum.

Right pocket contains:

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$1.35 in change, my baby lighter and my menthols. I actually rarely smoke, only when I’m REALLY really stressed(less then once a day.) But since I kindof have some social anxiety, I bring them just in case I get over crowded or am out for longer then I can handle. I usually keep my wallet in this pouch but right now it’s on my dresser for some reason? (damn gnomes keep movin mah shit.)

Main pouch and mini-inside pouch combined:

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The main section holds:

One Mountain Dew bottle filled with water.

One bottle of regular strength acetaminophen left over from the unfortunate days when I was pregnant and couldn’t take Motrin.

One sectioned formula container. When combined with the bottle of water you can create a usually effective Smidge silencing potion.

One container of “Chicken Noodle Soup” baby food (I highly doubt that its actual chicken noodle soup, but the ingredients list looked mostly the same just with more vegetables, so who am I to argue?) She loves it.

Seven diapers. Tied together with two rubber bands so they don’t run around in my bag.

One emergency onsie. Because the Smidge is disgusting.

One thing of wipes. Because the Smidge is VERY disgusting.

Three pieces of paper left over from my trip to the DMV. (In case you’re wondering: one piece of paper saying I passed my drivers ed course, one log of my required 75 hours, and one birth certificate.)

One pamphlet for a Walmart credit card that the cashier lady politely insisted I take.

Two library receipts. (because I keep forgetting that I pay more in library fines than the books would actually cost….)

One mostly clean bib. Because I persist in my futile attempt to keep the Smidge from being disgusting. *sighs* I fail, she gets pretty grungy but I like the grunge style so it’s all good right?

One Baby hair clip (one of the snappy ones? if that makes sense… oh you know the bright colored ones you always see on little girls.) that I used as an improvised paper clip (quite clever I thought)

One Dmv line ticket. *sighs* I hate the dmv…

One carmel candy wrapper

One bag of mostly finished bag of carmel candies.

One 3 pack of peppermint flavored chapstick that I got last chrissymas from my now mother in law (it sounds lamer than it actually is, it’s a cute container, I’m obsessed with peppermint everything, and I always have chapped lips because I chew on them.)

And in my inside baby pouch I keep:

One more subtle pink lipgloss

One spare mechanical pencil eyeliner (because my eyeliner is the only part of my makeup routine I actually care enough to do touch-ups on.)

One Mini eye-drops because both Josh and I have contacts, and it is very very not good to be stranded in the middle of an errand run totally blind.

And a minimum of 3 “feminine hygiene products” which NO girl I know of, doesn’t carry in her bag at ALL times. But is never the less the reason I’m sparing you of one last picture. so instead I will insert this:

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This is the Smidge. She’s pretty adorable right? Yea, that’s kindof the reason I haven’t murdered her in a fit of sleep-deprived-why-won’t-you-shut-the-fuck-up-and-go-to-sleep-rage. But she’s usually pretty chilled out and cute so… *shrugs* I think I’m gunna keep it for a while.

(If you don’t get that I’m joking, and seriously think I’d ever consider getting rid of my baby….wow you need to chill out, and get a very inappropriate sense of humor like mine. or a child. And then you’ll know why that’s funny. )

So yup that’s mah bag, what do you keep in yours? what type of bag do you like? I personally like back packs. I think messenger bags look a little cooler, but you can’t beat the comfort and practicality of a back-pack. I personally dislike the ones with just handles…,.especially short handles. *shudders* that’s probably just me though…..

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7 thoughts on “What’s In That Black-hole/Portal To Narnia That I Call My Bag. *with pictures*”

  1. OMG L!!! You are officially the cooliest blogger. c;
    I have a Hello Kitty Pez dispenser that looks just as grey and nasty. xD I stopped carrying her around out of mercy.
    Oh my gods, those buttons. o.o I unfortunately cannot carry any buttons on the purse I’m currently using (I really need to do an update on that) so I just keep lots of stuff hanging off it. xD
    Awww, the smidge is adorable. She looks so huggable. :3

    Liked by 1 person

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