Goodbye My Young Friend.

This is was Noodle. He died a while ago I just haven’t been emotionally able to handle writing this very depressing goodbye post. (I’m only marginally exaggerating, I’m seriously sad.)

He was a winter white dwarf hamster. Noodle was a pregnancy-related impulse buy. Purchased when he was a teeny tiny little guy sometime in December-February-ish, He died a very premature hamster death. It may or may not have had something to do with me feeding him way too many sugary snacks and unhealthy people foods. He was a seriously obese dwarf hamster. 😦

In his early months he had a wicked case of cage rage which led him to climb on top of his wheel, jump and grab on to the lid of his cage, and scream at the top of his tiny adorable evil hamster lungs from about 1-4 a.m. every night until he got promoted to my Ex-rat’s cage, which was so big that when I first put him in he had a tiny hamster panic attack.

He quickly grew to love his gigantic cage, mostly because he could hide from everyone and then pop out and scream at them when they tried to give him sugary snacks. He only ever managed to bite me once. Because I was his favorite person. He hated my husband, Josh, because Josh once thought it would be funny to pretend to eat him. Noodle did not find this funny and hated him ever since. I took noodles side and vowed to never ever let Josh hold my tiny angry hamster again.

Noodle was very nearly named Dorian because I had just finished The Picture Of Dorian Gray. Naming Noodle was nicest thing Josh ever did for my adorable departed hamster.

He was discovered sometime about two weeks ago. All I remember is that it was overcast and Saturday. I was getting ready to go over apartment paperwork with Josh when I went to poke him from behind the glass and piss him off. He didn’t move and when I went to pick him up, He was so cold and not breathing. 😦

This is the saddest I have been since I killed Davey and Jade (the shortest lived goldfish ever) last fall. I will never ever buy another small pet, because I am a tiny animal murderer. *sighs* RIP Noodle-Not-Dorian, I will miss your tiny beady-eyed glare. And your screams of hamster fury. And your tiny fat resemblance to Buddha. And your cute fluffy whiteness that did not match your cute and evil personality at all. Goodbye my friend. *sniffles* 😥