Okay so I’ve been trying to figure out what to write about pretty much ever since that last post, and I couldn’t really make up my mind until I finished reading Perks of Being a Wallflower.

Which, after I spent about 12 hours fangirling and coming down from that I-just-read-an-amazing-book high, left me thinking about how some books are good, and others are life-changing.

So I’ve decided to give you guys a smallish list of books that have profoundly affected my life and the way I look at the world, They’re not in any particular order, nor is this all of them (not even close) just the ones sitting in the front of my brain.


  1. Perks of Being a Wallflower by Peter Chbosky

I figured since this was the book that started this post it should come first. It was really profound. I fell in love with the characters, the style, and the story from the moment I picked it up. It was just beautiful.

Favorite quotes:

“And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.”

“I would die for you. But I won’t live for you.”

“So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.”

“We accept the love we think we deserve.”

Also, the poem, and really the whole damn book is quotable, it’s fucking beautiful.

I feel like what I got from this book was to embrace the moments, to be earnest with my feelings and actions, and to love the life I have.


2. The Picture of Dorian Gray By Oscar Wilde

I’d like to add that this is and has been my favorite book ever since I read it, almost four years ago, and that is an astonishing record for me. I’m a slut for Oscar Wilde and I sincerely wish I could have a conversation with him, you know, if he wasn’t dead. I feel like this book is ridiculously quotable, fun to read, and has real depth under neath the many layers of fabulousness.

Favorite quotes:

“The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame.”

“Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world’s original sin. If the cave-man had known how to laugh, History would have been different.”

“Experience is merely the name men gave to their mistakes.”

“Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing.”

“I am too fond of reading books to care to write them.”

“Some things are more precious because they don’t last long.”

“Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is by far the best ending for one.”

Also, the entire fucking book is just one massive pile of beautiful, charming, horrible, quotes from a beautiful, cynical, miserable, man. It was utterly breathtaking and reminded me that there are more important things than being beautiful, clever, and popular. And that in the end it’s better to be honest with yourself and the people you love.


3. Hamlet by If I need to tell you, why are you reading this???

Obviously this is a play not a book, but I love it tremendously so it has to be included. People say Shakespeare is hard to read, I feel like its more hard to start reading, and then once you do it’s hard to stop. Also this is my favorite Shakespeare anything.

Favorite Quotes:

“Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love.” –also probably my favorite quote of all time.

“This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”

“Though this be madness, yet there is method in’t.”

“Listen to many, speak to a few.”

I feel like the romance between Hamlet and Ophelia is only tied between the love of Annabel Lee and the speaker for best romance of all time. Look at that first quote, just look at it, it’s beautiful and sweet and sad and dreamy, pretty much the whole play is. Hamlet served as a reminder to do what I believe is right, and to say what’s on my mind.


4. Impulse by Ellen Hopkins

I’m also a slut for Ellen Hopkins, her writing style, her stories, they’re always so sad and touching and raw and real. This is one of the first books of hers that I read, and it’s stayed my favorite. Probably because I find it the easiest to identify with, I feel like Vanessa was written for me, and they’re all in a mental hospital.

Favorite Quotes:

“Grandma once told me it’s easy to overthink love, to dissect it and question it until it is no more.”

“One foot in front of the other, counting tiles on the floor so I don’t have to focus the blur of painted smiles, fake faces.” An accurate description of highschool Life.

“It [death] chokes you, gags you, but you have to pretend that you’re doing just fine, not trembling with this fear because the end is close.”

“Too much to take in, too much to purge. Why must every memory, once sweet, dead end in such ugliness?”

This book isn’t happy, it doesn’t have a happy ending, and there’s very little fluff to distract you from how horrible it is. But it was the first book I ever read that had characters who were depressed. It was novel for me to know that there were enough people who felt the way I do everyday that somebody would write a book about them. It also taught me to keep going, that it’s worth it to keep working, and that ending it all solves nothing.


5. Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson 

This isn’t a novel or a story like the rest of them, it basically read like a collection of posts from her blog, which I adore, so it was totally awesome. (Only decent Best present my in-laws ever bought me) She alternates between talking about her life as a funny awesome mom person, and coping with severe depression and a host of other mental issues.

Favorite Quotes/Chapters:

“Don’t sabotage yourself. There are plenty of other people willing to do that for free.”

“Don’t make the same mistakes that everyone else makes. Make wonderful mistakes. Make the kind of mistakes that make people so shocked that they have no other choice but to be a little impressed.”

“I AM GOING TO BE FURIOUSLY HAPPY, OUT OF SHEER SPITE.” (How I’ve decided to approach life from here on out.)

“I can’t think of another type of illness where the sufferer is made to feel guilty and question their self-care when their medications need to be changed.”

“Normal is boring. Weird is better. Goats are awesome, but only in small quantities.”


Furiously Happy, Dangerously Sad

Pretend your Good at it

George Washington’s Dildo

An Essay on Parsley, Wasabi, Cream Cheese, and Soup

We’re Better Than Galileo, Because He’s Dead. (specifically the spoon theory)

Well at Least Your Nipples are covered. ( I read this at Josh, I have noticed a slight improvement in compliment sincerity, I feel like this is a magical chapter)

And It Might be Easier, But It Wouldn’t Be Better. (This basically felt like what Josh is always trying to say but can never get out right.)

This book was ridiculously funny, gave me new insight into dealing with my shitload of crazy, and is the only thing I’ve ever read about depression that didn’t make me feel more depressed after I read it. I laughed and cried, out loud, like audibly, like it invoked a physical reaction in me. And it was a beautiful reminder that we’re not alone, we’re not broken, and in some ways, we have the potential to be even more awesome than the normal people. Seriously, if you’ve ever struggled with depression read this, or her blog, either or, both are awesome Cx

Anywhore sorry this is so long, believe it or not I cut a lot out, but these are the stories that touched my soul. They changed the way I view the world, the way I cope with life, the way I look at myself and others. I hope if you read them you feel the same way, or at least find them enjoyable.



Resolutions? I’m bad at being on time

So it’s January which means that everyone on the damn planet is going on about the new year, new me bullshit which I don’t really buy.

But for the sake of conforming I will tell you what my personal goals for this year are, and you will pretend to care for five minutes.

  1. I want to keep up with the Q&A journal Josh got me. Basically it asks you a question everyday and it’s got enough space for 5 years, so you see how your answers differ year to year. I think its cool because I suck at journaling and it’s something short and quick I can do in the morning.
  2. I want to talk to people more. I always wonder why I don’t have many friends but then I stay inside watching anime all day and never trying to talk to anyone.
  3.  I want to exercise more (can’t believe I’m actually saying that *looks down at rapidly growing tummy* ….wait yes, yes I can >.<) , meditate more, and try to start doing yoga again..

These aren’t just random things I thought up to sound cool, I never sound cool, but I have noticed that I generally feel better when I express myself, force myself out of my comfort zone, and try to move my lazy ass. It helps me feel a bit less depressed and a bit more energetic, so I’m going to give this shit a shot I suppose.

Happy late New Years, how did yours go? Mine sucked dick and ended up with me spending an hour crying myself to sleep in a bathtub when I wasn’t even drunk! 😀

Cheerios losers I’m off to watch youtube ❤


SOOOOOOOO Samm tagged me in the hair tag like two months ago and I just saw it /.\ better late then never right? Just agree with me on this……

  1. Why did you start taking better care of your hair?

Because I started dyeing it a lot, and was worried about over-damaging it, I feel like thats a common answer XD

2. What are your two favorite hair products?

I’m not sure I can pickkkkk DX umm hair dye, and deep conditioners, with hairspray in a very, very close third… I need my damn hairspray to keep it floofy peeples

3. Who’s hair did you admire as a child?

Anyone with colorful hair, I always looked up to the punk girls with choppy, colorful hair and big fringes.

4. What is your ultimate goal length?

Umm a bit past my boobies.

5. How are you going to celebrate reaching your ultimate goal length?

Hmmm… Probably buying lots of hair accessories and spamming instagram with cute hair pics

6. Two styles you want to try at your ultimate goal length?

Long pig-tails with my natural hair, and quite possibly a side cut (grow it all out to chop half of it off XD)

7. Which do you prefer: Health or Length?

Well I feel like the right answer is health, but unless it’s completely fried I personally will choose length. I’ve always had short hair so now I’m hell bent on getting long hair no matter what…

8. What do you prefer: hair ties with no metal parts or butterfly clips?

Hair ties, I almost always have my hair in pigtails/ twin buns?? so I like my hair ties.

9. What products do you prefer: salon brands, organic brands, bss brands (Idek what that means), drugstore brands, or other.

I try to use organic brands because I feel like it’s better for my hair (plus they usually smell really good) but if I’m being cheap drugstore.

10. Which product/technique do you think is over-rated?

Curling wands. Their like curling irons, but with no clip so you have to hold the ends there and you always end up burning your damn fingers and the curls look weird because you were too busy dealing with your burnt fingers to focus on what you were fucking doing……. I speak from experience -.-

11. Which product/technique do you think is under-rated.

Not washing it. With the magic of dry shampoo I only wash my hair once a week and it makes it much softer.

12. What is your favorite part of your hair regimen?

Hairspray, it looks perfect, lets glue it in place XD I just love the smell of my hairspray sooooo…. I dunno

13. What is the most annoying part of your hair regimen?

Doing my roots, I always need someone to spot me, it smells bad, takes hours, and is just generally a pain in the ass.

14. Oils or Butters?

Oils, I love a good nice-smelling oil treatment CX although masks and deep conditioners really are more my speed..

15. Buns or ponytails?

Buns, I feel like I can do more with a bun, bandanna ads rockabilly flair, double buns for super cuteness, Roll my fringe back  for pin-up perfection, messy bun when I’m pretending to be normal… So much you can do with a good bun.

16. Wigs or Weaves?

Wigs, I feel like they give you more flexibility and options.

17. What is your opinion on growth aids?

That most of them are bullshit schemes to make money. Unless its plain generic biotin I don’t trust it and even that isn’t a miracle growth thing, it’s just to keep it healthy.

18. At what length do you consider hair long?

When you can braid it without it looking sad and pathetic… About boob length.

19. When was the last time you visited a salon?

This summer. Actually it’s really sad, I finally found a good fucking salon and a hair dresser I love, and I start doing my own hair. I can’t spend #200 dollars every three months though, it’s just obscene.

20. What do you like to surf most often: Youtube channels, personal blogs, or hair forums.

Hmm it depends on if I’m doing it for fun or if I’m about to try something new. I love watching youtube hair videos for fun, but if I’m experimenting I’m more likely to check hair forums and get opinions from actual hair dressers.

21. And finally, what piece of advice would you give to someone just starting out on their hair journey?

A few things 1. take care of it, healthy hair is pretty hair. 2. Don’t listen to what people say, it’s your hair so experiment and try what you like, find what works for you. and 3. What Samm said, it’s just hair. At the end of the day you can chop it all off and it’ll grow back. It might look a little awkward for a few months but it’ll grow back and you can try again.


Included a pic of my personal hair goals CX


Maybe I’m Back?

Tbh I’m not really sure. Things have been odd of late. But I miss you guys so I shall make an attempt.

So since I disappeared Chassifer has been kicked-out/sent to rehab. Which he proceeded to get kicked out of. We love him to bits but he’s never gunna get his shit together *sighs* So last I heard he’s staying at some girls place in marylands.

Christmas was awesome. I got the best shits Cx and by best shits I mean bionicles, A Draculaura doll, a carton of cigarettes (which is insane because I don’t smoke that much -.-) an expensive bottle of stinky Michael Kors perfume XD I love Josh to bits but he’s reaaaaally bad at picking that sort of thing ❤ …. I also got a prettiful necklace from my pap, but I’m too busy being sad that he’s going to die soon to enjoy it.. 6-7 really ugly puzzles from my gram, and my mum-in-law actually bought me a really awesome book (Furiously Happy) by one of my favorite bloggers.

Josh really liked the poster I got him (I commissioned a drawing of us, and got it printed all big) and I think he also liked the handle of spiced rum XD

(My spawn just dumped the cats water bowl on the carpet for no earthly reason…)

We have a new roommate who used to be our neighbors roommate until they started fighting like cats and dogs -.- why can none of my friends get along?

Anyway there isn’t really a point to this besides I miss you guys, particularly Zazzle and Samm. Ann you woulddd count but I still talk to you on ig XD

ALSO Josh’s hair is blueeeee

look at how cute mah little weirdo isssss ❤ I dids that to him myself Cx

So umm I’ll try to be on here more (I’m actually about to double post and do the hair tag now lol) but I loves you all and I shall be at least semi-back. Although if you’re trying to actually get in contact with me my instagrams is still the best way (I’m fucking glued to it….)


Mah Friendy Samm Sanity Tagged me in ze halloween tag, (I know you wanted me to do it on my channel but I actually can’t films right now soooo have a text post.)

Here are das questions:

1. Favorite Halloween song? Patd’s cover of This is Halloween (though Amy Lee’s Sally’s Song is beautiful as well…)

2. Witch or Vampire? VAMPOORS I’ma be Vlad Todd for halloweens Cx

3. Favorite thing about Halloween? Cheesy Horror Movies! I love seeing all the bad movies that come on the Scyfy channel XD

4. Halloween party or scary movie marathon? Hmmmm Both! Ordinarily I would say movie marathons, but I actually have friends to do a halloween parteh wif this year so we’re gunna do that and then I think Josh and I will marathon ❤

5. Skeletons or Zombies? Skeletons, Zombies are cool but super cliche and I love the skeletons in the corpse bride Cx

6. Favorite Halloween candy? All of it???? Seriousleh, everything. Especially the gummies that are shaped like eyeballs and brains and shit XD

7. Favorite Halloween movie? Toss up between The Nightmare Before Christmas (I bet nobodyyyyy saw that coming) and Young Frankenstein (I’m always a slut for some Gene Wilder)

8. Favorite Halloween costume? Anything that you obviously put effort into. Life-like zombies, dead dolls, hell, even slutty cats, as long as it doesn’t look like you just dropped twenty bucks on a mini dress and called it good.

9. Favorite Halloween store? The only one we get it Spirit Halloween, so, that.

10. Jack-o-lanterns, yes or no? DUH???? Seriously how is this a fucking question?!?!

11. Bats or Black Cats? AGHHHH I can’t pick oneeeee, bats are super cute but I want to save the black kitties that get murdered sooooo bats on halloween, black cats the rest of the year. ^_^

12. Is Halloween your favorite holiday? It’s tied for Christmas but yes, they’re fighting for the number-one spot of love in my soul.

13. Pumpkin spice latte or hot chocolate? Mulled Cider (with ze alcohols), apple anything is my fall drink, but I hate pumpkin everything (except grams pumpkin logs) so hot chocolate if it has to be one of the two

LOOK AT MAH FANGIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ugh my head hurts… I have lots to talk about and at the same time nothing at all if that makes any sense?

Like I know I’ve kindof disappeared but it’s because I’m doing better. I have friends (besides josh he doesn’t count :P) and I actually have shit to do now instead of staring at walls for hours.

My heads in a better place, even though I came off my meds and now when it does get bad I have a bigger support group. Which makes me feel shitty because it’s not like I’m saying he wasn’t enough to fix it, he’s still the best at fixing it and when I do need to talk of course he’s the first one I harass (and not just because I’m marigialyailyy;hy obligated to, but because he gets it better than anyone else and knows how to hold meh) But now he has more help with fixing it because if he notices me starting to get down he can shove me into a group of people that care about me and thennn get me to open up easier.

So I’m doing better, I haz a friends in the meatworld, and I feel like we’ve finally found our family and that makes me happy ^.^ We’re the best band of misfits anyone could ever aspire to be.

It feels like I’m finally starting to make it ❤

Anyways todays shit: I had to drive Chassifer to traffic court in fucking bumfuck nowhere, like over an hour one way and now I’ve just been laying around since I got home, I finished the second alice in wonderland book, through the looking glass or whatever, And I liked it a lotttt better than the first one (Although I’ve always had a soft spot for the movies)

Then I talked to Josh for a bit and he had to go, he’s not getting home until late :/

Then against my better judgement I left a comment on some stupid Instagram post making fun of trans-women >.< which of course pissed off the person that posted it and led to a mini-argument which I decided not to continue once he brought up God. Like if your using the Christianity to be an intolerant douche you’re doing it wrong. And no reasonable debate can change that sort of stupid so why bother. Ugh >.<

Speaking of trans one of the adopted family members is a trans-guy and it was horrible because Josh and I were talking to him about shit and he was all happy because we’ve noticed a lottttt of progress with his testosterone treatments since we met him, and he was like YAY Yes, the only people that ever really mess up anymore are my roommate occasionally and his dumbass gf. Welp then roommate popped out and not five minutes later said she, completely didn’t notice and we all sort of collectively eye-rolled and were like serehousleh? but whatever smidgey is up from her nap now so I should probably go try to clean shit before she starts eating shit she’s not supposed to.

I am really trying to post more but I’ve actually been busy and I’m not apologizing for that ^.^ I shall talk to you all soonish ❤


Yea yea yea, excuses. Josh took a week off to celebrate his birthday and we were off dicking around in the meat world. We’ve both got new tattoos:

My Annabel Lee tat (Josh is gunna get the rest of that verse: “Neither the angels in heaven, nor the demons under the sea, could ever dissever- my soul from the soul- of the beautiful Annabel Lee.) I really connected with my part though because I’m big on the whole young stupid forever love thing.

New ink. #blackwork #ebtattoo #ink #tattoo

A post shared by J. McLaughlin (@inkanddaydreams) on

Josh’s don’t be fooled by the picture, that shits bigggg it took like 6 hours and I have no idea how he wasn’t crying because ribs are a bitch and I was dying the whole 30-45ish minutes mine took. It looks sick as fuck I just wish she wasn’t so ice-queen.

Anywhore what I want to talk about now: I’m pretty sure David and Jonathan were lovers. Bible David and Jonathan. I first heard the theory like a few weeks ago and was like, sounds plausible but I’m not buying into that shit until I have time to really look into it. So being a bored little book nerd I finally got around to looking into it. And I think it sounds probable.


So that. I poked around that bibley book a bit on my own, read the arguments against, and here ish mah thoughts:

I don’t interpret the kissing to be of the homeo-inclined because if you actually read the bible lots of hetero dudes be swapping spit, I guess it was(is?) like a middle-eastern thing.

When David married Michael (no, she was a girl.) Saul said something to the effect of “now your 2 joined to my family” Butttt because of translation problems and the fact that this was written ohhhhh several thousands of years ago, it’s not really clear if he meant because of A.) Davids prior engagement to a different daughter B.) the fact that Michael was the second daughter or C.) He had a thing goin on with the Jonathans, and this would be a second tie in.

Still not really swayed but continuing to read,


But you know *shrugs*

Anyway, what I did find that actually swayed my opinion to the luscious laddy lovin’s and away from my typical chaotic neutral stance was this:

 1 Samuel 18:1 Now it came about when he had finished speaking to Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself.

Usually when the bible refers to knitting souls, it tends to be of the romantic persuasion, or at least incrediblyyyyy passionate. So that was a big +1 to team Davithan, and also this:

2 Samuel 1:26 “I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; You have been very pleasant to me. Your love to me was more wonderful Than the love of women.

Which seems pretty gosh darn sweet to me. so that’s +2.

Neither side really has much evidence to support their theory, and the only reason it would be a huge deal is because everyone tries to turn David into like the bibles golden boy, Yea he was after god’s own heart but the man was a wicked slut or shall we say it like the kids these days and call him a *fuckboy*

Seriously like every other problem in that dudes life was caused by him being a total whore so it’s not really hard for me to imagine him banging yet another person.

Of course they weren’t married because in biblical times you could only get married to the opposing set of genitals, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t love each other, I mean they had a “strong covenant” between eachother. (funny side note, main biblical requirements for marriage is a public covenant between god, and hoomans, that you love said person.)

So I mean, I’m not betting my life or anything serious on it, but this theory does make sense to me and it wouldn’t surprise me if they were as southpark so eloquently put it “butt-buddies”

Now I get to theorize which was Seme (David) and which was Uke (Jonathan)….

I don’t think it really matters either way but you know, now if/when my pervy ass squeazes into heaven I have yet another question for what’s already quite a long list.

What do you think? Too heretical for the Biblical Golden Boy to be Bi? Ehh whatever now I’m off to read Alice Through the Looking Glass while Chassifer tries to bone and Josh is out drinkin with Charleston.

Also, Josh and I are rating playboy girls on fuckability, tis quite the enjoyable pastime, I definitely recommend




Why does anyone even read this goddamn blog???? It’s the most pointless thing ever.


Yet again I had to wake up at o’dark thirty (7:15am to be exact) to go get chassifers dumbass from work. And of course when I got there he wasn’t there -.- I waited for twenty fucking minutes before deciding to see if he got a ride home (he works like two minutes away so it wasn’t like I had to go far) and of course after going all the way home, finding the apartment empty, and going allllll the way back, He was just sitting outside chilling with work peoples. Fucking asshole -.- Apparently he didn’t get off work till right before I got there the second time so it’s not really his faultttt, but fuck that shit I got up too damn early. I think I’m going to start getting up at 7:30 and just making his ass wait.


On the plus side, since I needed gas I stopped at 7/11 and made him pump while I got mahself a meatstick and two rockstars (one new flavor and one I know I like in case I didn’t like the other one) So now I’m drinking this:

Which really does taste like strawberry lipgloss, I dunno how else to explain it, just really sweet and sugary and chemically. If you were ever a 5 year old girl (or had an older/bossier sister) you’ll know exactly what taste I mean. Tis very yummy and also mildly nostalgia-y at the same time 😀

Now I’m redyeing my hair (same aqua-y blue but I’m trying to get it a lil darker this time) and trying to figure out wtf to do for breakfast before the tiny satan baby wakes up.

Speaking of tiny satan baby, yesterday she bumped her head and has a little scrape on it 😦 but since I was doing a puzzle and she didn’t cry I don’t know what happened and it makes meh sad. She gives no fucks though.

I OWN JNCO JEANS (google it) because I missed out on the first wave of popularity due to the fact that I wassss I dunno 5? I’m getting in on this shit early before it becomes cool again CX Josh said I look like a weeblewobble<3 They’re leg tents and I love them<3


in other news I also bear a striking resemblance to a raging lesbian….


I so bored… Maybe I’ll go to sephora *gags* and spend the last $10 on my giftcard. Ten bucks at sephora, that’s a fucking joke.

ANYWAYS, it’s almost Josh’s birfdayyyyyy!!!! I hope he likes his presenty shits, I didn’t get him much :/ But I hope he hases lots of funs.


I must go.

And find food.

For I and my daughter, are both major fatasses.




So, I have IGBTSS, if you’re wondering what that is and survival rates and such let me just expain,

I Gave Birth To Satan Syndrome is a medical anomaly occurring in mothers who are typically over-worked and under-paid. The symptoms include one or more children that are too smart for their own damn good, wreck hell upon your home, and ALWAYS use their powers exclusively for evil, furthering the devils cause.

It has a -000000.00000% survival rate, so I’m sorry guys, but the terrible two’s are nigh upon us and I fear that I shan’t last much longer.

Ugh >.< somebody put me out of my misery now?

On top of the satan baby Josh is working nights every day through monday so I get to see him for maybeeee 10 minutes a day because he has to sleep when he’s home.

And chasifer’s moped died so I’m driving his dumb ass to and from work every day until he can afford to get his license back, and buy a car. Good news is that he no longer works at the labor finder place because he got a job that’s like a mile from where we live. So at least the risk of me passing the fuck out while I’m driving isn’t too bad.

Now that the roommates at work and the child’s in bed(FINALLY) I get to go clean out the fridge and figure out what’s making it smell like rotting flesh.

Soooooooooooo I’ll catch you all later depending on whether or not I’ve survived.


Somethingggggg Words

Welp, now that things are getting settled not a lot has changed since last time.

Chase’s moped died so now I have to drive his dumb ass too and from work all the days.

But right now I wanna talk about something that’s still pretty newish for meh.

Ze Josh has comes out as gender-fluid (Sometimes he’s a guy and sometimes he’s a girl, simplest way to explain that.)

It’s weird because he’s usually so confident and sure of himself and now watching him try new things and go out of his comfort zone is both adorable and strange.

And also kindof frustrating. Because he sort of expects me to just know off the top my head how to make him look all cute and feminine (motherfuckers always cute, it’s just the feminine bit) Which is really irritating because I do want to help, and I try, but at the same time I don’t have to try to look girly, I just wake up and throw some eyeliner on, maybe a lipstick and call it good.

But I guess that’s good because it means we can explore and figure this shit out together. Which will be fun ❤

Although, that evil motherfucker. Wears the same pant size that I do. -.- if anything his hips are a little smaller than mine. It’s like YOU TINY FUCKING ASSHOLE YOU KNOW HOW HARD I WORK TO STAY THIS SIZE AND YOU JUST MARCH IN HERE WITH YOUR ITTY BITTY WAIST AND LOOK BETTER IN MY PANTS THAN I DO?!?!?!?!? T.T travesty.

*sniffles* okay I feel better now that I’ve gotten that out of the way.

Another plus side, Now I get to help pick out cute outfits Cx and he finally shaved his god-awful sideburns 😀

*Sighs* I don’t know, I’m happy and excited for him, getting to explore this side of himself, but at the same time it’s kindof weird emotionally for me. I don’t want to complain or make it seem like it’s this big awful thing for me, because I know it’s really hard on him. But it’s just, I dunno it’s really weird trying to help him out with shit. Not because I don’t want to, or because it bothers me, just because it’s really reaaaaally far from anything I ever expected to be doing with my husband you know?

I need to hold him down later today and measure him so we can buy a corset for his Halloween costume, which will also probably be the first time he goes full drag. The dress is soooooo pretty Cx I’m super jealous and need to find something amazing now.

So that’s what’s been up on my brain today. Oh yea also!

This is my entry for most creative/best hairs on instagrams. You doeshn’t have to but if you could leave a like or a comment on it that would be super ultra appreciatated<3

Just an alternative teen mom trying to fake this shit till I figure it out.